The internet on my computer has been down for 2 days cuz of the snoww. blah.

the song "you make me smile" sounds kinda crappy to me but i love the lyrics to it.
"You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed,
sing like bird
Dizzy in my head,
spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold,
buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile"
i dun even know who sings it :p

" i have learned that words can be decieving. but the truth lies in a persons eyes. I have learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye. and it has. I have learned that everytime you give a person a piece of your heart, that is one piece that you wont get back. and thats just fine with me. I have learned that the past is meant to be left behind us, and that we cant dwell on regret. whats done is done. it only makes us that much stronger. I have learned that trusting yourself is the first step and that forgiving is remembering that helps your own heart more than theirs. I have learned that it is never too lateto fall in love again. and being beautiful is on the inside. misteaks are our teachers and everything happens for a reason."

today i listened to the song Cute by Stepher Jerzak like tenthousand timess.
no school today!!!! Yayye nd its still snowing which makes me happy.

"do what makes you happy. Be with the one who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. and LOVE as long as you LIVE."

thinking of youu;

i like LEGIT have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I just wish i could gain it all faster so i wouldnt be loosing anything anymore. and there we go. i just said something that confused mee :p but it dosent matter becauseee nothing is making much sense at all to me right now.

im having one of those moments where i am at a total loss of words. rawrr.

♥
"a dream is a wish that your heart makes when your fast asleep"

was this real or did we just pretend to love eachother?

I hope i never wake up to find out that this was all a dream.

♥

Today i had so many places to go that i thought that my head was going to explode...well that and it may also explode from listening to to much loud music;) haha.

I just want time to stop so i can live this moment forever.

theres a point in life where you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to impress everyone, and trying to fix everything but its not giving up. its realizing you dont need certain people and the bullshit and the drama they bring.
and this is prettymuch where im at ;)

Busy day today. im goin out and stuff haha:)

"Was it something I did? Was it something you said? Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead. Held up so high on such a breakable thread. You were all the things I thought I knew and I thought we could be. You were everything, everything That I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it. All of our memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending ..So much for my happy ending"

"Go Go Gadget Happy Heart, You know this won't tear us apart this time, and I'm fine, and you're fine, cause we're so brand new. Who knew we'd have to start, facing all our hopes and fears...No I don't break bones, just hearts."

Valentines day is tomoro.

and im wishing that i could have what everyone else has.

i was kinda hoping that i wudnt have to spend tommoro being by myself.

it just dosent seem fair to me.

Today i asked myself a question. The question was; why?

I still dont have an anseur.
I guess this is just the story of someone who is falling apart all because of you. But im trying to keep it together.
so far im doing okay... :\
today i just went out sledding with my friends and i finally know what its like to not think about you. Remember to forget. Its something that i have to get used to i guess.

Todayy theres no school. there wasnt any school yesterday either..so this means that imm off til tuesdayee!!!!<333 theres like about a foot of snow outside. I just started thinking today that
i miss the way things used to be.
i want everything to be fixed and back to normal again. but i have no idea when thats going to happen. I want my life back exactally the way it was before. i miss the good times.

im sorry but i already have.

lots nd lots nd lots.

nobody said it wud be easy.
believe me its anything but easy
but im going to try and prove you all wrong

I promise you

i made i list todayy:)

Today i really didnt have anything to do.. i stayed home from school so i had some time. I made a list of 140 things i want to do lolllllll it will probly take the whole rest of my life to do everything on this list maybbeeee

1. find out how many licks it really takes to get to the middle of a tootsie pop.
2. Try my best to not let anyone down
3. WIN AT EVERYTHING
4. Ride the worlds scariest ride
6. Make somebody elses dream come true
7. Read a story to kids at a hospital
8. Make all my own dreams come true
9. Write a song that people will listen to.
10. Be known… for being me
11. Hang out with some awesome famous person.
12. Get to know somebody else better than I know myself.
13. Get paid a dollar for every breath I breathe in a day.
14. Get over my little fear of heights
15. Ski down a black diamond trail without being scared shitless.
16. Own a kick ass diamond ring.
17. Walk around the mall wearing a free hugs sign.
18. Run up a down escalator.
19. Go I a big building in new york city, go in the elevator, and press all the buttons… just like in that movie ELF
20. Laugh at my mistakes instead of regretting them.
21. Have a shweet glowstick rave in my basement and invite tons of people who I don’t even know.
22. Go to mad parties.
23. Invent a pizza flavor skittle.
24. Go see breathe carolina livee
25. Find true love ♥
26. Make some cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles and give them to hobos.
27. Watch a sunset
28. Stay up outside all night in the summer just to look at the stars.
29. Go sky divingggg
30. Go bungee jumping
31. Buy all the clothes I could possibly want.
32. Own the worlds smallest dog
33. Own a one eyed cat
34. Go to japan
35. Travel the world in a week
36. Make a totalleeh random discovery
37. Read every single one of the facts on the snaple caps.
38. Walk down the street with speakers blasting love songs.
39. Actually look forward to a happy valentines day for once in my life.. Or preferably ,or than once.
40. Never be alone
41. Be on a tv show.
42. Realize who I am
43. Know who I want to be, and who im not
44. Hardly ever have to feel sad again
45. Be able to say “ I love my life” and completely and totally mean it.
46. Make some more friends.
47. Help make somebody feel better about themselves.
48. Get revenge.
49. Be able to say “I proved you all wrong”
50. GET WHAT I WANT
51. Never give up.
52. Work out and get in the best shape everrr
53. Be completely happy with the way I look for once
54. Give somebody a makeover
55. Learn to cut hair
56. Learn to play guitar
57. Speak German fluently
58. Sit in a cornfield in the rain
59. Visit some of the “Weird New Jersey” places
60. Sleep overnight in a haunted house
61. Decide for myself whether or not all this ghost stuff is real. I do have my doubts.
62. Walk around a graveyard at night….just to say I did it.
63. Find the prettiest place on earth
64. Eventually find out the anser to this question “is life supposed to make sense???”
65. See a guy walking down the street dressed like Jesus
66. Find the end of the rainbow
67. Take a rocketship to tha moon
68. Be perfectly entertained without ever having to watch tv
69. Motivate America to get up off their asses
70. Convince a dropout to stay in school
71. Get paid for doing something that I like to do
72. Be able to make a list of 1 million random things about myself
73. Be the best at something
74. Have the best freakin blog ever.
75. Know somebody else who listens to a song only because the lyrics mean something to them
76. Put a message in a bottle with my phone numba, throw it on the ocean, and get a call back from whoever found it
77. Donate to a foundation that helps animals
78. Help put a total stop to animal testing
79. Teach a monkey to talk loLLLL
80. Carve “me+you” into a tree
81. Never regret anything
82. Take lots of risks
83. Never ever ever be too serious
84. Never spend another weekend by myself
85. Buy a very very nice house
86. Own a black pickup truck
87. Get my license
88. Dye my hairr
89. Get color contacts
90. Know that this list probly wont end.. Unless I want it to
91. Shut down KFC
92. Keep in touch with everyone I know
93. Go to college
94. Help other people with their problems
95. Fix my fucked up life
96. Learn to snowboard
97. Find out how many balloons it takes to fly
98. Get ducttaped to a ceiling
99. Be able to say that everything is fine.. And know that it is
100. Own a chinchilla
101. Prove that a lint roller can clean a rug just as good as a vacuum can! lmao
102. Swim in a swimming pool of pudding
103. Be the most interesting person ever
104. Make a motivational poster that motivates people
105. WALK ON WATER!!!!! JK
106. Go to a peace riot thingie with a HIPPIEE!!!!
107. Make people see things my way
108. Make my own webshow with my friendzzz
109. Know who my true friends are
110. Decide whether or not I want a tattoo
111. Get my belly button pierced
112. Get my hips pierced
113. Be able to cook awesomeeee food
114. Have the most totally mad rad hairr
115. Get my makeup done professionally
116. Watch someone who I rele rele don’t like get covered in mayonnaise and then go out in public. (fer sher to end up on you tube)
117. Not make fun of anyone
118. Have lotzzz of peoples read this list
119. Stop worrying about what people think
120. Realize that there never is and never was a right and a wrong
121. Run a marathon… and then WIN!!!!
122. Find out what flan is made of…. WTF??? What the hell is flan????
123. Eat waffles and icecream without feeling like a fatty
124. Have a party at walmart
125. Never stop listening to music
126. See an actual mini horse sized zebra
127. Listen to the story of a random strangers life
128. Set a world record
129. Be totally awesomee
130. Make up a new word that people will actually use
131. Be able to tell somebody about my life without keeping any secrets
132. Not give a shit about people who hate me
133. See a real tornado… and then run like hell
134. In an all white room, write lyrics all over the ceiling and walls
135. Never have to complain about anything
136. Go scuba diving
137. Go swimming with whales!!!!
139. Move outta NJ eventuallyyy
139. LoVe FoReVeR
140. Rememer to not forget.

I'll put a message in a bottle and I'll throw it across the sea

Your the lock and included is the key

Along with a dozen x's and o's

Lord knows that you can't get enough of those

Your superkalafragelisticexpialadociously cute

Sweeter than a 12 pack of juicy fruit

Surreal, but I know this isn't a dream

We go good together just like coffee and cream

im already lost somewhere

but your more than welcome to join me

:)

music is my only drug

and im addicted.

today its my escape

imunna...go eat some cereal. yummyyy!

"Fast foward through the tears. skip ahead a couple of years."

i guess i just dont know exactally what to think about myself.

am i trying to hard to be perfect? well i have way too much

extra time so i guess i might as well just give it a shot.

note to self;

i know he takes my breath away, but sometimes...i just have to remember to breathe

todayyyhh

one word. or maybe two words. Supafabulus and awesomeee.